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Sunday, May 28, 2006

The dream of the tiny door

I had a recurring dream theme come up again the other night. It may have something to do with everything else that's going on.

It's what I call a "tiny door" dream. I usually think of it as a "narrow door" dream, but the door isn't just narrow, it's also small - roughly 8" wide by 12" high or so. The circumstances of the dream vary, but the conclusion is always the same. For whatever reason, I will come to a series of smaller and smaller passages and rooms through which I must pass, sometimes through a succession of smaller and smaller doors through which I can barely squeeze. In the end I come to a final, tiny door, not even big enough for me to squeeze my head through. Beyond the door is my ultimate destination - another room, a garden, someplace - and usually there are other people there on the other side, people who have either gotten through the door somehow or have figured out another way of getting there.

Maybe that's the key. Thrashing about on the Internet, the only thing that I've found that specifically references this is a dream dictionary that says "A small door symbolizes your desire for inner exploration and self-discovery." That doesn't sound like this. Maybe the dream reflects a common anxiety for me: I find many things overwhelmingly difficult to face that other people do as a matter of course. Whether this is because I'm overthinking the issues or I just have an inadequate denial mechanism (which, if properly functioning, would allow me to face monstrous issues without ever recognizing them as such), I don't know. So perhaps buying a house is my latest "tiny door", and all those people on the other side are all the other people who have gone through this before me, who have somehow found a way.

I have other recurring dreams - the dream of the forgotten class (I signed up for a college class in the beginning of a semester, and then sort of forgot about it until it's finals time!!!), the dream of the misplaced class (this time I remembered to go to the college class, but I have no idea where the final is being held!) Both of these dreams are fairly common and are supposed to indicate personal disorganization.

I also have recurring dreamscapes. Most notable is the bookstore that does not exist up near Dallas, PA, a big, sprawling Barnes & Noble with vast numbers of books laid out on two levels, one of them slightly sunken relative to the other (much like the Princeton bookstore, or the bookstore at Vanity Fair in Reading, PA.). Sometimes it's a stand-alone store - I could take you to the very spot where that store should be, I've been there myself and there's nothing there. And sometimes it's part of a big, sprawling mall - I need to try to figure out where that's supposed to be located, but I think I may already know.

Who knows what I will dream of tonight? Maybe it will be another dream of the tiny door.

1 comment:

thebearscout said...

I had this dream and was searching for dream analysis when I came across your post. I think in my dream it was representing a "door" that only one or two people are allowed in... that there are some very private things in my world that I'm very selective about who really knows me. Would that apply in your situation?