Thursday, September 21, 2006

Plan 9 From Outer Space: The Musical

I got a little excited when I saw this headline on the IMDb: "'Worst Film' To Be Transformed Into Las Vegas Show." Yes!, I thought, Plan 9 From Outer Space goes to Vegas!

Unfortunately, the headline was referring to an even worse film: Showgirls. I certainly won't argue that it isn't worse than Plan 9 - any movie that features that much gratuitous nudity and gratuitous sex and still ends with a bunch of 17-year-old boys walking out of the theater shaking their heads and saying "That was a bad movie" is definitely a bad movie. But for a moment thoughts of Plan 9 From Outer Space: The Musical danced through my head. Actors dressed as a Dracula-ish vampire and Tor Johnson's enormous zombie could cavort on stage with idiotic aliens, idiotic police officers, and all the other idiots that populated Ed Wood's twisted masterpiece. Having songs pop up at random times in the story wouldn't really disrupt the storyline much, since it was pretty incoherent in the first place. (Who wouldn't want to hear the famous line "You're stupid, stupid, STUPID!" turned into the chorus of a song?)

Maybe someday...after I see my other great musical made. The Fast and The Furious: The Musical would feature actors wearing strap-on cars (in keeping with the spirit of the story, each actor would have to make his or her own car out of a big cardboard box, some paper plates, and a pair of suspenders) who would make Rrrrrrrrrrr and Vrooom! Vroooom! and Skreeeee!!! noises as they move across the stage. So far I've only got a few lines from the opening song (We're Fast, and We're Furious), but trust me, it's gonna be great!

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