Wednesday, September 20, 2006

As I was saying...

Venezuelan president / whacko Hugo Chavez delivered an address at the United Nations General Assembly today that registered somewhere between George "The Animal" Steele* and Crazy Ol' Zell Miller** on the rant-o-meter. It's fun to have an illustrative example provided so quickly.

*This is a comment only on his antics as a wrestler, not his current political views. Not that I ever saw him wrestle or heard him rant, but I had friends who would repeat his weekend rants every Monday at school.

**This is a comment on his seething, spitting, eye-popping rant at the Repugnicant National Con-Vention back on September 1, 2004. This guy is just plain nuts.


Anonymous said...

You're not the only one ...

Congrats on joining the Vast Right Wing conspiracy. We'll send around the limo right away and show you the secret handshake.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

never mind the link. Here's what someone wrote in The Corner.

All We Need is the Iron Sheik* [Jonah Goldberg]
From a reader:

Dear Mr. Goldberg,
This morning I was thinking to myself that
Generalissimo Chavez's appearance and antics are
exactly like something out of professional wrestling,
and your post on his 'moral clarity' confirmed this
notion. One of the great appeals of wrestling is the
exaggerated 'good guy' vs. 'bad guy' dynamic, and
Chavez has the whole routine down pat. Maybe WWF would
be a good a post-coup career option for the big man?
By the way, I loved the phrase "held hostage by the
tactical outrage of a global mob". You hit the nail on
the head with that one.

* Iron Sheik.

Update: Question from a reader:

What would be his signature move?

The Iron Sheik had the Camel Clutch.

Maybe Chavez would have the Uplifted Knee.

Posted at 9:07 AM

Bill @ IB

Anonymous said...

For the sake of accuracy, George "The Animal" Steele never cut promos. That was his thing: eating turnbuckles and not speaking!

I think the surreal Jimmy "Superfly Snuka" promos of that era WWWF (yup, WWWF - before Vince K. McMahon turned it into the WWF) are much closer to Chavez's space cadet rant.

Maybe more "boogie Woogie Man" Jimmy Valliant, even!

D.B. Echo said...

I probably couldn't have picked a worse example of a wrestling rant than a guy who never spoke. Well...almost never. I seem to recall an incident where another wrestler used a concealed foreign object against him, unbeknownst to the referees, and he shouted "(name of wrestler)!!! OBJECT!!! CHEAT!!!" My friends couldn't get over it.

I guess my favorite ranter was "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, though he ranted with such flair and eloquence that you couldn't help but think, "Man, this guy would be great in movies!" Sadly, all of his roles have been more subdued than his ringside persona, even in the classic They Live.

Even Randy "Macho Man" Savage was somewhat coherent in his rants. I guess I'm just thinking of a generalized composite of dozens of shouting wrestlers that I've seen, maybe best epitomized by wrestler Stimpson J. Cat in an old episode of Ren and Stimpy: "I LIKE HIM!!!! HE LIKES ME!!! WE ARE FREIIINDSSSS!!!!"

Bill, have you chided the National Review on their incipient racism in making this suggestion - or rather, in publishing someone else's suggestion? (The old Pat Robertson "I didn't say it, he said it!" routine. Come to think of it, Benedict XVI seems to be employing that same defense...)

Anonymous said...

Re: NRO.

No, I haven't chided National Review. I've been curiously silent ;)

Bill @ IB