Nigerian e-mail scams

One of the topics of conversation at the Felberpalooza was the persistence of the Nigerian e-mail scams. After so many years and so much publicity, why do people still fall for them?

I got the idea to start a blog consisting solely of Nigerian e-mail scam messages that I receive. But I don't have the energy to start another blog right now. Here are two that showed up in my InBox recently, plus a classic parody:

From the Desk Of
Mr.Ismail Faraidooni
Manager
National Bank of Dubai,
Al Mizhar Branch
United Arab Emirates
E-mail:(removed)

Dear Friend,

This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have not yet met. The message could be strange but real if you pay some attention to it. I could have notified you about it at least for the sake of your integrity. Please accept my sincere apologies. In bringing this message of goodwill to you, I have to say that I have no intentions of causing you any pains.

I managed to get your contact details through the Internet myself. Time is of the importance and I am desperately looking for a person to assist me in this confidential business.

My name is Mr. Ismail Faraidooni, I am the humble Manager of National Bank of Dubai, Al Mizhar Branch.,let me assure you of the originality of the current one you are reading. during a recent call over of our branch financial books by our Internal Auditors and my goodself, I discovered a Fixed Deposit account that was dormant for up to 4 years. The tenured sum in the account is a total of Nine Million, Five Hundred and Thirty Eight Thousand United States Dollars ($9,538,000, 00). The actual principal sum is Nine Million Five Hundred Dollars ($9,500,000), while accrued interest over the years amount to Thirty Eight Thousand Dollars ($38,000.00).

The above mentioned Time Deposit Account belongs to one Mr. Neal Walker, a customer now deceased. We discovered that a plane crash occurred way back On October 31, 1999. Involving an Egyptian Boeing 767 Flight 990 in the United States. His family including Wife and Daughter were unfortunately on board the aircraft too. You can confirm it yourself via the website below: (URLs removed)

Under normal banking regulations obtainable throughout the world, a customer at the initial stage of completing account opening documentation is required to provide the name(s) of his /her next of kin. This is the norm, because of unforeseen events such as permanent physical disability, or even death. In this case, the late Mr. Neal Walker’s next of kin was first, his daughter, and then his wife.

In his Fixed Deposit Account data, I noticed again, that he prefers online banking correspondence, rather than being physically present in the branch. Under normal circumstance, customers send in their instruction on or before the maturity period of investments of this nature, but in cases whereby there is a delay in receiving such instructions, the bank uses its discretion to roll over such investment pending the receipt of an instruction stating otherwise from the customer.

In this case therefore, when Mr. Neal’s “rollover or liquidate my investment instruction” was not received by officials in our operations department, the investment was continuously rolled over up to the time I noticed its peculiarity. There is a law in the

United Arab Emirates that stipulates remitting any amount that stands as unclaimed after five years from the date of demise of a customer, in cases where provision has not been made for a next of kin by the account holder. Such funds are termed as unclaimed funds by the bank to the emirates treasury account. In this case, it is not that there isn’t any next

kin, but because they are both deceased. The emirates you must understand has a peculiar financial system, whereby there is freedom in the transfer of funds, tax exemption, and a very liberal system at the way funds are brought into and moved out of the country without attracting undue attention from Government regulatory agencies. These it is believed can go a long way at attracting foreign capital into the country.

I have taken my time to explain to you the intricacies associated with this transaction, so that you may be able to compare notes with what you might have previously received from impersonators. And above all, to give you the needed feeling of mutual confidence needed to for us to conclude this transaction, that I believe will help both of us achieve financial buoyancy in a very short while. This is what I am proposing:

(1) In order for the bank not to transfer the said sum of Nine Million, Five Hundred and Thirty Eight Thousand Dollars ($9,538,000.00) as unclaimed funds to the emirates treasury account, the above stated funds most be claimed immediately by somebody standing in as late Mr. Neal Walker’s partner.

(2) The stated sum can only be transferred to a designated account that will be provided by Mr. walker’s partner. Full name, address and other details must also be furnished to the bank for ease in processing necessary documents. This details you will provide for me to commence anchor the transaction.

(3) The Bank’s Attorney/Legal Secretary shall prepare all necessary documents relating to the transfer of ownership. A sworn affidavit empowering you as the next of kin to the deceased and a probate administration document shall be served the bank after being duely notarized. This will serve as a legal document backing this claim.

(4) You will be required to provide an account and its details to our bank for the said funds to be transferred, as you shall then be regarded as the next of kin to the deceased. This information I will need you to urgently provide.

(5) Note: that the operations staff charged with affecting the transfer are all my subordinates in the branch, while the responsibility of authorizing transactions of this nature falls on my shoulder as the branch manager.

I am a meticulous, fair and rational individual when it comes to the area of sharing proceeds. Therefore I am willing to offer you 40% of the total sum to be transferred. The remaining 60% shall be utilized in-house. I believe this is equitable enough.

Finally, I can assure you that the above proposed transaction is fool proof, considering the fact that I am the branch manager who shall authorize the transfer, and again, since we shall ensure that we fulfill all the bank’s requirements relating to transactions of this manner.

Therefore I can guarantee you that you shall not be liable to exposure in anyway imaginable. I shall need to be able trust you, as much as you will need to do the same about me. Therefore, I shall advice you to

Kindly reply my email, depicting acceptance in good faith of my proposal. Upon receipt of your reply, I shall furnish you with relevant documents that will help guide and ensure your optimum understanding of the above stated transaction. Additionally, I shall require you to forward to me your telephone and fax numbers for ease of communication.
I am sure that I need not state that the foregoing requires utmost confidentiality.

Thank you.
Awaiting your reply via my personal email.

Sincerely,

Mr.Ismail

Hello Friend,
This mail correspondence may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have not met,i know that this is an unlikely platform to start this kind of relationship but i am constrained by the present situation of my family and i request you to permit me use this medium to introduce myself.

I am a liberian and was the personal aide on domestic affairs to our former president, Mr.Charles Taylor.

I am currently in Dakar,Senegal and would need your co-operation in moving out some funds from here for investments in your country. For your help,i will be happy to share the funds with you according to an agreed percentage.

Please indicate your interest in working with me so that i can give you full details.

If i do not hear from you in 7 days, i shall consider it that you are not favourably disposed to accept my offer.

Thanks,

Peter West

Dear Sir,

I am an Uruk of Mordor, charged with the discovery of a number of valuable treasures within Moria. It has come to my notice that the mithril hoard previously owned by Ori of the land of Moria has been found by one of our cave-trolls. Under our laws, the hoard will be shared between our lord Sauron and the local Balrog, but so far neither knows the extent of the treasure.

Sir, I come to you as a respectful businessperson in order that we may derive some profit ourselves from this venture, I would wish that I could arrange for the transfer of half of the find to yourself, costing roughly 20,000 silver pennies. From this amount, I will then arrange for a further such that 25% remains your own, 5% goes for sundry costs (including hire of strong Rohan horses for use in transportation), 5% is given in bribe to the cave troll to ensure the quantity reported to our respective Lords is adjusted, 65% belongs to myself and my fellow Orcs.

In order that this be accomplished, I ask only that you provide details of:

Your willingness to participate in this venture,

Confirmation that you will not speak of this venture to anyone else, or wear any magic rings,

Your race and land of residence,

The location of your local Palantir or identity of your preferred message-carrying bird or beast,

Your given name, and any name you are known by in the Western lands,

The number of ponies you possess.

I look forward to your returning correspondence, which can be whispered to any passing magpie. I trust that you will ensure that no other dark feathered birds come to hear of this transaction.