No, we don't

I'm tired. No big surprise here: my shortened three-night rotation ended at 6:00 this morning. It's 10:30 now, four and a half hours later.

I had plans for today. Nothing big, nothing dramatic. I did complete some of them: Got gas on the way home. Stopped at my house across town and checked on the condition of the seedlings. (I may have lost two of the seven transplants from last week, but the new seed starts are coming up and seem to be reacting well to the 23 Watt fluorescent light I have shining on them fourteen hours a day.) Almost took a nap in the Lay-Z-Boy while watching my super-fancy DTV rig, but then decided to call it quits and head on back here.

I won't be going to an appointment with my mom this afternoon. My brother will be going with her, which is just as well. I may still have an appointment for next Friday afternoon, depending on the outcome of today's meeting. I think I'm learning now that I will definitely need to get some sleep beforehand.

I planned to go out to the comic book shop to pick up a copy of Adam Felber's Skrull Kill Krew. Maybe I still will.

I may also mow the lawn later today. Maybe.

Did some more digging into my current obsession. Didn't really find anything new, but I'm trying to draw up a web of connections. It's all very, very sad. I've seen home movies of this person (from a year or so before she died) as a young, dynamic, vibrant girl, full of life and promise. I've seen...other, later videos. That was my jumping-on point. What happened in between? How did she get from one point to another? And is it a coincidence that just ten days after a certain site started to index her online appearances, she was dead?

I read today that her hometown newspaper may be getting ready to fold. That is bad. I need it to stay open until July 28, at least. Preferably until September 3. I will pick up copies on both days - she lived close enough that it's a local paper, available at any newsstand.

I can't imagine how her family and friends have dealt with the pain of her loss. I have found a way, in my own many, many experiences with death. But none of them involved someone like this: so young, so alive, so much potential now forever unactualized.

Personal YouTube weekend, to observe the start of my off-rotation: My Bloody Valentine's cover of "We Have All The Time In The World," first recorded by Louis Armstrong. It was written by John Barry and Hal David for the James Bond movie "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" - the one in which Bond falls in love and gets married, only to have his wife die in his arms after being shot. As he cradles her body, he utters the line that is also the title to the song.

We don't have all the time in the world. None of us. Live, laugh, love. Seize the day. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.