Thursday, January 11, 2007

Going backwards

I've only labeled another hundred or so posts since the last time I wrote about this. It's really a wrenching process, dragging myself backwards through my posts. I've made it all the way back to the end of last January. I've watched Ashes die, and then watched him weaken tremendously. I've come back from Ireland, experienced St. Patrick's Day in Ireland, come back to Ireland from London, visited London, toured Ireland, arrived in Ireland, left Ashes behind, sought out the Tender Vittles that were the only thing he would eat, watched him worsen, watched him getting sick.

And so much more. There are many things I've written about, but there are many more that I haven't. I'm re-experiencing them all as I read these posts. I'm remembering what I was thinking, what I was feeling, what the weather was like, what people were saying and doing around me. I once wrote about how I read books while I'm traveling so that by re-reading the book I can re-experience everything that happened in my travels. The same is true with my writing. As I re-read it, I am there again.

Nearly out of 2006, and soon I will head into 2005. At the end of August my father will die, then he will be in the hospital, then he will suffer his ultimately fatal fall. Haley will die at the end of May, on the same day as my Uncle. I will go with her on many walks, and I will structure my vacations so we can spend more time together. In the beginning of February 2005 we will find out about her condition. We will take a winter hiatus, and then take a last few walks in December of 2004. In the Summer of 2004 we will begin her walks. And soon before that we will come to the start of this blog.

I hope I can make it.


anne said...

I've been following your blog for quite some time and it's kind of strange to read it all summed up like that, backwards. As you mentioned each event, I can remember reading about it on your blog.
It will probably be a bit painful going through it all again but it is the stuff of life and unavoidable. Maybe, in some way, it's good that you are going backwards because you can wrap up some events with the best memories last.
Oddly enough, of all the photos you have posted on your blog, the two that stand out most in my mind are a picture of a sunset over your town and a picture of a chocolate handgun.
Which reminds me I have to make a special trip to that candy store this Easter to buy all sorts of strange chocolate things. I hope it's still there.

tiffany said...

i know exactly what you mean.

i re-read skinny legs and all by tom robbins all the time, because i read it when i went to paris for a month when i was 16.
the nostalgia is unbelievable.

i try to go back and read all my own blogs, too. but i end up crying about one thing or another--it's too much for an extended. chronological reading project. so, i have to more of a pick-and-choose/topical re-reading. if that makes sense.

and i have it pretty easy, because i am pretty selective about what i share with my blog.
although, even if i didn't come out and write about it, i still know what was going on when, between the lines.

it sounds like you've been pretty honest with your own blog--in the end, i suppose that's probably better.

i wish you luck on your journey...

tiffany said...


hi, my name is tiffany.
i think too fast for proper typing.
nice to meet you!

D.B. Echo said...

Anne, you'll have to let me know when you and yours are coming into town. I'll give you the nickel tour for free! Chocolate handguns for everyone!

Tiffany, hello! And that's a hell of a blog you've got there. I'll be linking it as soon as I...wait, I did housekeeping earlier today. Err...soon.