Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Sadness in the trees

When my grandmother was in the nursing home I would sometimes take her out for rides in my car. We especially enjoyed driving around in the Autumn looking at the colorful leaves

As I was driving to visit some friends in New Jersey for a birthday party this past weekend I had a mental Post-It jump into my field of vision. I don't know if other people experience these things. They're like the little pop-up messages that appear on your computer screen reminding you that tomorrow is so-and-so's birthday, or you have a dentist's appointment this weekend, or it's been 11247 days since you last defragmented your hard drive. Only these things are actually post-hypnotic reminders, implanted by me, that pop up in response to specific stimuli. They're very useful for things I don't need to keep in the top level of my memory all the time, like the combination for the lock on the garden shed or the suggestion that I should take my father for a drive in the country to see the leaves.

That was what popped up in my field of vision as I was driving: TAKE DADDY FOR DRIVE TO SEE LEAVES. Yes, of course. The leaves are quite beautiful right now. Even someone deep in Alzheimer's can respond to them. Just a few technicalities of getting my father signed out of the nursing home, getting him to my car, and getting him back in time for his next meal and/or scheduled meds.

Of course, there's also the fact that my father has been dead for almost two months.

This weekend would have been my parents' 50th wedding anniversary.

1 comment:

betz said...

this made me cry. when i drive home today i will look at the leaves differently.