I AM AN ASS

- Dogberry in Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing, Act 4, Scene 2

Let's assume for a moment that I did not get completely ripped off yesterday when the people at Monro Muffler told me I needed to get my entire exhaust system replaced, from the catalytic converter to the muffler and tailpipe. Let's assume that the rusted, bulging welds and all the other crap I saw when I was under my car on Tuesday was really as bad as it looked. Let's assume that this wasn't just another case of me being played for a sucker.

I FAILED TO ASK FOR MY OLD PARTS BACK.

Which is your right, unless the law has changed. Most of the time this is so you can see that the things the repair shop replaced were legitimately in need of replacement, and you weren't just being taken for a ride.

In this case it would have been because THE PLATINUM IN THE OLD CATALYTIC CONVERTER WAS PROBABLY WORTH AT LEAST $100.

I was going over the bill this morning and I saw, as I had been warned, that the new catalytic converter was the major part of the charge. I thought back to my first day of work as a DVD press operator, when I learned that one of my fellow DVD press operators had just had the catalytic converter cut out of his truck. His was not an isolated case; there had been a rash of catalytic converter thefts around the same time, and state legislators were talking about cracking down on scrap dealers who bought such things no questions asked. Wow, that must suck to have your catalytic converter stolen, I thought.

Oh, crap came immediately after.

I called the muffler shop as soon as they opened this morning. I asked if I could get my old parts back, especially my old catalytic converter. They told me they had been tossed in "the dumpster", but I was welcome to go look for them. Which I would not be able to do for another eight hours at least.

I didn't bother. I really doubt that, 24 hours later, anything of value in a dumpster that routinely receives scrap platinum would still be there.

Of course, I don't believe that anything as valuable as a catalytic converter really went into a dumpster. If it did, the people who tossed it there are dumber than I am.

So I'm faced with a repair shop where the employees either lie to their customers, or are stupid enough to throw away valuable scrap. Which has now caused me to question if I really needed a new catalytic converter, or if I was just the victim of a one-two punch: essentially paying someone to steal my catalytic converter, and then paying them to install a new one.

There's an old adage in business: Treat a customer well, and they'll tell their friends; treat them badly, and they'll tell everyone. Right now I'm not feeling like I've been treated very well. So I'm telling you about it.

Learn from my mistake. Don't rush into something like this, even if you're in a situation like I was. Be sure that you need a new catalytic converter before you agree to let anyone cut your old one out. And if you do get it replaced, be sure to get the old one back. It's worth money.


Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Give It Away":