"Make Your Vote Count."

(Note added 10/2/2004: As a result of this posting I have received a number of search engine hits from people looking for information on how to apply for an absentee ballot. This entry doesn't explain how to do this, but this one does.)

That's what the big piece of mail says. Followed by the words "Request Your Absentee Ballot Today."

Well, that's what the back says anyway. On the front of the envelope are the words "You Can Defend Pennsylvania's Families. Vote Today!" And next to this there's a young...girl? The child is of indeterminate sex, possibly discernible by the ponytail that he/she is wearing, but you know kids these days - anyway, the child holds its right hand over its heart. Below the main message is an arrow that reads "IMPORTANT" and "Absentee Ballot Request Form Attached."

Flip it over, and the main message about making my vote count is followed by "Here is your pre-addressed Pennsylvania Absentee Ballot Form. Use it to request your Absentee Ballot from the County Board of Elections." Then there are three instructions:

1. Fill out the form and sign.
2. Place your 37-cent stamp on it.
3. Mail today.

Neat! I think I will Vote Today! After all, why wait until Election Day?

Open up the mailing - a three-fold thing on heavy paper stock - and you see a glowing George W. Bush and a shady-looking John Kerry. There's a message across the top: "President George W. Bush and John Kerry differ on most important issues. Who best represents the values and concerns of Pennsylvania voters?" And then it proceeds to compare and contrast the incumbent and the challenger - drawing conclusions right at the start: "President George W. Bush: Strong Moral Values" and "John Kerry: Out of the Mainstream".

Now, if you were a sharp-eyed or mildly curious individual, you would have noticed the messages on the outside of the envelope: A small return address (text just over 1/32" high - actually, the uppercase letters are exactly 2 millimeters high) tells you that this mailing is from Bush-Cheney '04, and thin black 3mm (1/16") letters on a light blue background on the backside announce "Paid for by Bush-Cheney '04, Inc."

Looking at the form itself you are faced with more fine print. Actually, the whole form is fine print, including "SECTION A - ABSENCE FROM THE MUNICIPALITY". What? I have to be absent from my municipality to use an Absentee Ballot?

As a registered Independent, I am being actively courted by both sides, despite the fact that I am firmly in the pro-Kerry/anti-Bush camp. I'm getting stuff like this delivered to me. But this particular thing smells funny. Let's look at it, piece by piece.

"You Can Defend Pennsylvania's Families." I'm not sure how this helps me do that. I mean, the fellow that's being promoted here didn't do a very good job of protecting Pennsylvania's families on September 11, 2001. More than a few families lost members in the worst mass killing of U.S. citizens on U.S. soil since the Civil War. But I guess funerals do bring families closer together, and continuing deaths of Pennsylvania family members in Iraq are helping keep that going.

"Vote Today!" How? This is an application for an absentee ballot. Filling it out isn't the same as voting. The absentee ballot is what allows you to do that, and this is just an application for one. So this is misleading, and just plain wrong. I wonder how many people will fill it out and think that they are voting?

"Make Your Vote Count. Request Your Absentee Ballot Today. " What is this implying? That if I don't vote via absentee ballot, my vote won't count? Doesn't Bush-Cheney '04 have any faith in the voting systems in place in Pennsylvania?

And why isn't there any hint (in the LARGE PRINT, at least) of the fact that absentee ballots are only for use by persons who will either be A) Absent from the municipality or B)Have an illness or physical disability?

But Bush-Cheney '04 isn't emphasizing the valid use of the absentee ballot application. I received a call today that I let the answering machine pick up, from "REPUBLICAN ST". When I played back the recording, there was a message from a woman with a strong British accent who said she was a volunteer for Bush-Cheney '04, and was calling to remind me to fill out and mail my absentee ballot application today. I wish I had picked up that call now, just to hear how she would answer the question of why I should be applying to vote via absentee ballot.

I predict that there will be a record number of votes in Pennsylvania and other closely contested states cast by absentee ballot - and that there will be an immediate call for an investigation of the validity of the absentee ballots by whoever loses the state. Of course, it will be very difficult to determine the validity of thousands (or tens of thousands, or hundreds of thousands) of absentee ballots. Election officials have admitted that for the most part, voters are on the honor system when it comes to using absentee ballots. Granted, there are a great many people in this state who will be eligible, and who might not otherwise vote unless someone pushes them to vote via absentee ballot.

If Kerry wins, and Bush demands an investigation, and Kerry balks at this, he will immediately be accused of hypocrisy. But if Bush wins, and Kerry contests, he will be accused of trying to drag the U.S. through a repeat of the Florida electoral nightmare of 2000.

Will it happen? We'll just have to see. But in the meantime, make sure you do your part: REGISTER TO VOTE. Then get out and vote on Election Day. And if you can't get out and vote on Election Day, file an application for an absentee ballot. It's not going to let you Vote Today!, but it will let you vote!