Bargaining

I know that a lot of what I've been doing these last two days has been bargaining: If only I can find Tender Vittles, maybe Ashes won't die. My aunt bought four boxes - 24 pouches. I bought another four boxes today, and have another 20 boxes being expedited to me. 28 boxes total, 168 pouches. He eats about half a pouch each day. Enough to last him 336 days. An eleven month supply.

Some of it is out of necessity. If Tender Vittles is the only thing he will eat, then it is a question of locate it or watch him starve. Some of it was a grand show: when it looked like none were available anywhere, and I found a supply online, I pounced. I ordered more than I needed partly because I expected to be told that there was insufficient stock to fill my order. But I ordered expedited delivery because, if it were to be of any use, it would have to arrive sooner rather than later. So my total purchase came to something like three times the actual retail cost, if it were actually available at a retail outlet? So what. Ashes is worth the expense.

I bought more at a nearby Price Chopper just to prove to myself that it was in stock. I restrained myself from buying their entire stock. Someone else might have a cat that will only eat Tender Vittles, and I wanted to leave some for them.

Ashes is lying next to me, taking a catnap. We are holding hands. I will place my hand upon one of his paws; he then places the other paw on my hand. This seems to calm him. And I think he will only eat if he is calm and relaxed.

He just woke up, more alert than he was before the catnap. While he was napping he looked very unnatural, and began to twitch, like a dog having a dream. Maybe he was having a dream, too, or maybe this is just another stage of the dying process. I don't know. Whatever. I woke him up because I was afraid it was the latter. But he seems much better now.

If Ashes doesn't die before I go to Ireland next Wednesday, I am afraid he will die shortly after.