Cinco para la cuesta de dos

Tuesdays I take my mom grocery shopping after work. It's Senior Citizens' day, and she gets a 5% discount on her bill, which is pretty significant when the economy is in the crapper and every penny counts.

There wasn't much that we needed, or wanted, or couldn't do without this week. Milk, eggs, a few other things. But there was one thing in the flyer we figured had to be a typo.

Twelve can "refrigerator packs" of Pepsi and Pepsi products are on sale: buy two, get three free. Huh? Five for the price of two? "It must be a typo," I said, but sure enough, the in-store display confirmed: Buy two, get three free! With club card, that is.

We stocked up at an end cap. The sale is limited to two offers per customer, but our need for soda is not that great - cans are mostly for road trips or outdoor activities. So we only bought five twelve-packs. Enough to last us, say, a year or two.

We made our way down the aisle. Snack foods and beverages. Potato chips, pretzels, cheese curls, then more soda. I was grabbing some house-brand two liter bottles of diet soda off the shelves when a hispanic woman came by, pushing a cart with a little boy in the child seat. Maybe one, one and a half years old. My mom and I both gave him smiles, and he smiled back. That's one of the most amazing reflexes built into children, and a good one to practice whenever possible.

The woman stopped at the end of the aisle where the Pepsi products are normally displayed. She pulled a twelve-pack off the shelf and put it in her cart. Then another. Then she made to move on.

The Cosmic All demanded that I inform her of a great savings opportunity.

"You know, you can get five for the price of two," I said, smiling helpfully.

"Eh?" she responded.

"Five cases. For the price of two . Buy two, get three free," I said. And then I added, "With club card."

"If I have club card?" she responded. Then she smiled and moved on.

"She has no idea what you just said," my mom observed.

Aw, crap.

A few minutes later I recalled enough of my High School Spanish to cobble together something that sounded right that I should have said to her. "Five"...cinco. "Two"...dos. "For"...para. "The price"...er, cost...la cuesta? "Cinco para la cuesta de dos!" I should have said, throwing in an inverted exclamation point at the beginning for emphasis.

Too late. The woman and her bambino had moved on, and I never got a chance to say "Five for the hill of two!" to her.

Oh well. Así es la vida.


FYI: "The cost" = el coste. La cuesta = "the hill".