Thursday, November 01, 2007

Halloween tally: 15 pounds to 178 people

According to the tally counter, I passed out candy to 178 people last night - 15 pounds of candy, according to the scale. Not just kids, either, or even adults carrying toothless babies (they counted as two people). There were more than a few cigarette-smoking, skanky-looking 40-somethings who came up onto my porch in costumes, sometimes with kids, sometimes without.

A lot of kids were dressed up as Symbiote Spider-Man, Dracula, and Darth Vader - all basically variations of the "Johnny Invisible Pedestrian" costume. Some of them had glowsticks. Others did not. One of the Darth Vaders kept tripping and stumbling, and I had to point out to the clueless adults with him that he was wearing his mask upside-down. After inverting it, he could see out much better.

I received disturbingly few 18-year-old girls dressed up like slutty 12-year-olds - and disturbingly many 12-year-olds dressed up like slutty 12-year-olds. I mean, a Dorothy or Little Red Riding Hood outfit with high heels, thigh-high white stockings, and a puffed-out skirt that goes to about 1/8 of an inch below crotch level is hot on an 18 year old girl, but wholly inappropriate on a 12-year-old. WTF?

(At least when the Little Red Riding Hood and her friends bumped into another group of Trick-Or-Treaters that included a kid dressed as a wolf, she had the presence of mind to scream "AAAAAH! THE WOLF! YOU ATE MY GRANDMA!")

Many of the kids - and a few of the adults - were fascinated by the gargoyles I had lined up on my steps.
One of the "adults" - he looked about 18, but was accompanying a two-year-old, and was not looking for candy - asked me what I would be doing with the gargoyles after the holiday. I told him that they are year-round decorations in my house. I mean, what old house that has a long history of people dying in it shouldn't be full of gargoyles?
All in all, I think I got fewer kids than last year, but at least I didn't run out of candy this time. The weather was a lot cooler than last year, but the day was absolutely gorgeous. I got some remarkable photos...but those are for another post.

Now, anybody wanna help me dispose of 35 pounds of leftover candy?


anne said...

First and foremost: The Candy.
If you are ever in Schuylkill County, you can drop it off at a certain real estate office in Tamaqua. You will know it by the estrogen aura.

Second: The slutty 12 year olds. I saw those costumes when my husband and I were shopping for blood (Hee! That's so funny to type.) and I thought they were awful. My co-worker has since informed me that they are referred to as prostitots.

Last, I apologize for the hits you will get on your blog now that I typed "slutty 12 year olds".

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I'll be happy to help you with any and all extra chocolate you have.

The gargoyles were a very nice touch!

Betz said...

Har, I loved the gargoyles, and your Halloween sounded awesome.
Also, I love the pics of the sky?
You are getting to be the photographer extraordinaire!