Chess variations

I just got done losing an a game of chess to Bill. I did a lot better than I expected, considering that a) I have not played in a very long time, b)I have had way too much coffee this morning, and c)I'm not a very good chess player.

I've had some ideas for a while about combining chess and alcohol in a way that balances out the game in favor of the less skilled player. I'm certainly not the first one to have this idea, but I've decided to write out my simplified rules, plus two variations.

Note: Please don't misconstrue this to mean that I in any way endorse or condone irresponsible drinking. I don't. If you're going to do this, you'd better be planning on spending the night wherever you're playing. And it had better be someplace where they're not gonna stick your hand in a bowl of warm water or shave your head while you sleep.

Alcoholic Chess:
The goal of this game is to correct any relative imbalance in players' skills by handicapping the better player. Players must drink whenever they capture an opponent's piece.

Each pawn is worth one-half of a shot.
Every other piece is worth a full shot.
"Fancy maneuvers" - castling, capturing en passant, turning a pawn into a queen - are worth an additional shot.
Checkmate is worth two shots.
In the event of a stalemate, draw, or surrender, both players must drink one shot.

Works best in a series of games, preferably played with unbreakable pieces on a waterproof board.

Beer Chess:
Same as Alcoholic Chess, but getting up to go to the bathroom counts as a surrender.

Caffeinated Chess:
Fun for non-drinkers. Replace shots with cups of caffeinated coffee. Same bathroom rules as Beer Chess. Warning: May result in uncharacteristically aggressive play. Best played early in the day, but can also make for an interesting all-night series of games, or even a multi-day marathon!

Remember, play responsibly.