Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Betting odds for Thursday's Vice Presidential Debate

  • Palin cancels at last minute due to an unforeseen government emergency in Alaska, where she's still technically the Governor: 20:1
  • Palin cancels at last minute due to unforeseen family emergency; Republican pundits declare that it is un-American to demand that anyone place mere politics ahead of family: 37:1
  • Palin cancels at last minute due to acute laryngitis: 12:1
  • Palin cancels at last minute due to rushing back to Alaska to lead troops in mobilization against unforeseen invading Russian force coming across Bering Strait (later found to be a stray weather balloon and a severely confused flock of Canada Geese): 7:1
  • Palin shows up, kicks Biden's ass: 4,725,322:1
  • Biden scoffs at Palin: 2:1
  • Biden sneers at Palin: 2:1
  • Biden acts condescending towards Palin: 1:1
  • Biden displays easygoing charm and aura of honesty of a used-car salesman: 1:1
  • Palin has no idea what a question is getting at: 2:1
  • Biden randomly makes up chronologically impossible historical references: 2:1
  • Palin delivers "Blizzard of Words" and sounds like blithering idiot: 2:1
  • Biden kicks Palin's ass, but is then roundly condemned by pundits for being such a meanie: 1.0000001:1
  • Economy collapses, country thrown into chaos, martial law declared, elections cancelled: 3:1 (and falling)

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think Biden is in a tough spot, here. As someone somewhere pointed out, the debate could turn out to be a no-win situation. As you pointed out, he's likely to look mean and condescending if he out-debates her on the issues. Or, if Palin somehow manages to "win," then Biden looks like a goof. I can't wait for the sketch on SNL.

Anonymous said...

There's not as much at stake tonight for the Democrats -- they're well up at the polls, the fix is in in Ohio, and there's pretty much no way the Donks can lose.

All Biden has to do is be nice-but-strong and answer questions correctly. What he shouldn't say: "Hey, bitch, go make me a sammich." Otherwise, this isn't a difficult thing. One or good-natured laughs is enough for a knockout.

BTW, if I hear Palin or McCain refer to themselves as mavericks one more time, I'm gonna throw up. Maverick is a term others give you -- you don't get to use the term on yourself. It's weird. They should know that.

Anonymous said...

Oops, that was me ... bill

as far as canceling the election, that's up to the hypnotoad.

Zen said...

What are the odds on Biden showing up drunk?

MaryRuth said...

I'm leaning towards the chaos and cancelled elections scenario.

D.B. Echo said...

Even if Biden shows up drunk, he'll still make more sense than Palin.

Drunk, holding a highball glass, smoking a cigarette, talking on a phone, and reading the latest MAD Super Special, he would still make more sense than Palin.