The Sowers of Discord

It's hard to write about something like this without giving it unwanted publicity. Rush Limbaugh - the fat-mouthed, smug, proud, arrogant, drug-addicted, hate-spewing jackass who has been the darling of the far Right and those who don't like to think very hard (the "Dittoheads", who simply agree with whatever the voice on the radio tells them), is trumpeting what he has termed "Operation Chaos." The objective is to get Republicans to change their registrations to Democratic, at least in the states that have yet to hold their Primaries, and then essentially stuff the ballot box (i.e., cast their faux-Democratic votes) for (to borrow a phrase from someone who I am not suggesting is participating in this endeavour, and whose recent change of heart I will take at face value until and unless there is evidence to the contrary) "the more defeatable candidate." Or maybe it's just to make sure that there is no clear winner going into the Democratic convention, ensuring a contentious and possibly divisive battle.

Or maybe there's some other reason behind it. I really didn't read up too much about it on Drugbaugh's site, because the foul stench there got to me before I could get very far. Besides, this is a relatively new keyboard and mouse, and I don't want to have to replace them after I vomit all over them. As always, Limbaugh's objectives are infinitely flexible, so he can maintain that whatever the outcome, it worked out according to his plan. (Most folks of his ilk make a lot of bold, brash statements and then spin them to mean whatever they want them to mean whenever they want them to mean it.)

Limbaugh is crap, and anyone who agrees with him unquestioningly is an idiot. Is his plan working? I don't know. Pennsylvania is seeing a record number of people switching their party affiliation to Democratic - hell, I'm one of them. Are some of them Republican loyalists who are playing their own game of "vote for the worst?" Definitely. Do most Republican converts fall into this category? I have no idea.

Will Limbaugh's plan fail? I am confident that Americans will not be stupid enough to fall for his crap. But on the other hand, I was confident that Americans would not be stupid enough to vote for George W. Bush in 2000, or in 2004. But many of them did.

Limbaugh is going to Hell, if Dante is to be believed. In Dante's Inferno an entire section of Hell set out for Sowers of Discord, which is pretty much what "Operation Chaos" seems to be all about.

Now, Bolge 9 of Circle 8 (the Circle of Fraud) may be the most obvious place to stick Rush Limbaugh at the moment, but Minos might have a hard time deciding how many times to wrap his tail around Limbaugh's bloated corpse. Circle 2, Lust? Circle 3, Gluttony? No, these were reserved for sins without malice, and Limbaugh can certainly not be described as "without malice." Circle 4, Avarice and Prodigality? Ehhh, not really.

No, Circle 8 seems to be Limbaugh's appropriate place. But there are so many neighborhoods - Bolges - where Limbaugh might be right at home. Besides Bolge 9, there is Bolge 8 - usually considered the home to "Evil Counselors", but according to the University of Texas site on Dante,

A more accurate description, consistent with both the contrapasso of the tongue-like flames and the Ulysses episode in Inferno 26 as well as with Guido's appearance in Inferno 27, might be the use of rhetoric--understood as eloquence* aimed at persuasion--by talented individuals for insidious ends. Rhetoric, according to a classical tradition familiar to Dante, is essential for civilized life when used wisely. However, eloquence without wisdom--far worse even than wisdom without eloquence*--is an evil that can "corrupt cities and undermine the lives of men" (Cicero, De inventione 1.2.3).

He might even find a home in Bolge 10, the realm of Falsifiers. His claim to citizenship would be valid in any of these sections of Hell, though there is something immensely satisfying in picturing Limbaugh in Bolge 9 with the other Sowers of Discord, waiting his turn to be disemboweled, beheaded, or otherwise maimed, then walking in a circular procession of the damned, gradually healing and recovering from his wounds, until at last he is whole again - just in time to once again feel the kiss of the dismembering blade and begin the long procession again.

No, not because of the graphic nature of this punishment. Dante had a seriously nasty and creative imagination, and all of his punishments are dramatic and memorable. No, what would make it especially delightful to see Rush Limbaugh consigned to Bolge 9 of Circle 8 of Hell would be who he would be keeping company with.

See, Dante had some fairly particular views as to who might be in Hell. Popes, monks, Greek heroes - all were to be found in Hell. It was Dante's party and he could invite whoever he liked, and decide for himself where to place them. And into Bolge 9 of Circle 8 Dante placed Mohammed himself, to be (as the Texas website puts it) "cleft from groin to chin" for all the trouble he had caused the Christian world. So not only would Rush Limbaugh spend eternity being punished for sowing discord with things like "Operation Chaos", he would be doing it in the eternal company of Mohammed. At least, if that's where Dante chose to put him.


UPDATE: Even if Limbaugh isn't going to Hell, he may be going to jail...in Ohio.

(Go here for the original story, or here for a reprint.)

See, all it takes to change party affiliation in Pennsylvania is a checkmark in a box on a relatively straightforward voter registration form. In Ohio, you are required to sign an oath swearing allegiance to the principles of the party you are registering for.

On Thursday, March 20, the Cleveland Plain Dealer reported that the "Cuyahoga County Board of Election has launched an investigation that could lead to criminal charges against voters who maliciously switched parties for the March 4 presidential primary." According to the report, "One voter scribbled the following addendum to his pledge as a new Democrat: "For one day only."

"Such an admission amounts to voter fraud," the report continued, attributing that conclusion to BOE member Sandy McNair, a Democrat. The report said the four-member board - two Democrats and two Republicans - had yet to vote on whether it would issue subpoenas, although Ohio's secretary of state, Democrat Jennifer Brunner, is empowered to cast tie-breaking votes when the BOE is deadlocked.

...Michael Slater of Project Vote, a nonpartisan group that designs voter registration drives for low-income people, said GOP meddling in the Ohio Democratic Primary was a clear-cut example of fraudulent voting, which is how Republicans have defined the issue in recent years, as GOP advocates have urged state legislatures and Congress to adopt anti-fraud measures such as tougher voter ID laws.

"Here we have a real instance of spurring people on to engage in illegal election activities with a real intent to affect the outcome," Slater said. "That is voter fraud. People were encouraged to break the law. They had to declare allegiance to a political party and sign a document under penalty of perjury. Intent is what matters in voter fraud."

If the Dittoheads are engaging in voter fraud, then Evil Counselor and Sower of Discord Rush Limbaugh is engaging in suborning voter fraud. Republicans everywhere should be so proud of their little boy.


*Not that I'm accusing Limbaugh of eloquence.