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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Funk

Yeah. I'm in a black mood again, for various reasons.

Mainly the dead stray cats. Not just the fact that someone is going out of his way to kill these animals. Not just because my mom and I are completely overextended rescuing the ones we have, and we're still leaving several outside at the mercy of the elements - and the poisoner. But also because burying a cat is a pain in the ass. It takes a lot of energy and a lot of time, time and energy I could have - should have - been spending in other ways.

I looked at the leaves today on the tree lawn of the widow across the street, leaves that came from our Oak tree and that I have always raked up. The tree lawn is clean for a long stretch, and then, abruptly, the leaves start again. This indicates where I stopped raking on Tuesday. After I filled a bag and carried it across the street and onto our lawn to place with the others. Right before I found the first of the day's two dead stray cats.

At some point, I need to finish raking the leaves. And by then, maybe we will have a few more dead stray cats to deal with.

One of my friends has disappeared from the Internet. She was the first blogger I read on a regular basis, starting about seven years ago. Her creativity and style inspired me to start thinking about creating my own little online journal. I have kept up with her through many life changes, even the shutdown of all of her active blogs a while ago. But now she's gone from Facebook, too, and I'm concerned. Her last update was a disturbing pop-culture reference that many people wouldn't get. I still have a few ways left to try to get in touch with her. But I don't know if I should try.

Another friend has stopped talking to me. I don't know if I should take this personally, because it seems like she's stopped talking to pretty much everybody, including her blog readers. But I think I did something which was well-intentioned (and done at great effort and personal cost) that may have embarrassed her or creeped her out. Until she starts talking to me again, I won't know for sure.

And now it's time to go back to work. I feel like I haven't accomplished much, though I know I have. I raked some (but not all) of the leaves. I gave a couple of cats a decent burial, rather than tossing them in the trash as other people might have done. I took my mom grocery shopping for most of the things we'll need through the holidays, and we saved 43% overall through a combination of a 20% promotional discount, a 5% senor citizen discount, and using coupons on items that were already on sale. I took my mom for a medical procedure today, and then out for a late breakfast, and then filled up her tank with gas, and set her up for a 15% discount on groceries next Tuesday. (Not that I can imagine she will be needing much next week.)

I hope this passes soon. I don't like feeling like this.

1 comment:

Camilla said...

The fact that I have deleted and blocked several people from my Facebook friends-list and MSN does not mean I have "disappeared". I am no longer even slightly interested in being looked at as the person I once was. A blogger, camgirl, you name it. Nor am I interested in sleazy comments and remarks here and there, which you do have made (and you are aware of it).