Tuesday, October 06, 2015

Terror in the Infants Department

I came across this while taking a shortcut through the Infants department in Walmart a few weeks ago. It's called the "Womb Sounds Bear." While it's a whole bear, at least according to the terrifying illustration of the bear hovering over a sleeping infant, the packaging makes it look like half a bear lunging out of its box at you, like Johnny Eck in the climax of Tod Browning's "Freaks."

But that's not the worst part. The worst part is that I heard it first - a muffled, echoing heartbeat, like the sound of a beating heart heard through amniotic fluid, or buried under floorboards. The Womb Sounds Bear lives up to its name, I suppose - my memory isn't that good.  And while it may bring comfort to newborns, it will bring everlasting terror to unsuspecting adults who come across it it while taking a shortcut through the Infants department.


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