Spooky, 2009 - 2026

 Spooky died in my arms at 4:30 AM on Thursday, February 5, 2026.

Spooky, July 23, 2025

Spooky was the last of his cohort of cats. We took him in on January 1, 2010, when he was already about six months old. He wasn't the last one we took in back then - that was Spooky's littermate Homer, who joined us in July 2010. and was the last cat we took in until Bojangles in 2019, who was rapidly followed by his mother Mama Cat and his sister Spumoni. Homer died several years ago. All of the other cats from that era have died, most recently Spooky's littermate Amber in May 2024, and Peaches in October 2023. Now all that remain are the newcomers Bojangles, Mama Cat, and Spumoni.

Spooky, December 30, 2024

I snatched Spooky from where he was sleeping on our back porch on New Year's Day in 2010. He and his siblings were sleeping in a plastic shoe storage bag my mom was throwing out. They had stuffed themselves into the bag and were packed together tightly. I couldn't understand how they weren't suffocating jammed in there. But I knew that fate and humans are unkind to feral cats, especially feral black cats, and since I knew we could only take in one more cat, he was the one I targeted. 

He did not appreciate it.

We had set up the bathroom as an isolation room for new cats, until they could be medically cleared by the vet. After clawing the hell out of me - I should have worn gloves - he proceeded to tear the bathroom apart, something that Spumoni would do again nine years later. But he soon came around and realized the benefits of having a safe, warm house.

Spooky, March 19, 2010

For most of his life he was a quiet cat who lived in the shadows. That was the way of things - usually one cat at a time would get to be my mom's special cat, and the others would stay back. Toward the end of her life Babusz was the special cat. When Babusz died, Amber moved to take her place. Peaches gravitated to me.

After my mom died, Peaches became my special cat, always sitting by my side. I could tell her life was coming to an end, and I always justified not doing things because I had something more important to do - namely, pet Peaches. 

After Peaches died, Amber moved to take her place. Amber had lost a lot of weight after my mom died - my mom had a habit of overfeeding the cats, and without her leaving bowls spilling over with treats all over the house, all of the cats began to lose weight. Amber was extremely overweight when my mom died, but I made a point of feeding her exclusively. She also inherited the lickable treats that Peaches had enjoyed - specifically Temptations Purrrree with Chicken. Amber was the special cat for just over six months until her sudden and untimely death due to saddle thrombus.

Spooky moved into the special cat spot by my side. Not just by my side - throughout 2024 and until we were ordered to return to the office full-time in February 2025, he would make a point of walking in front of my face while we were doing our weekly online meetings, much to the amusement of my coworkers. (I explained to them that he was used to hearing me talking on the phone or tapping away at my keyboard while I was working, so when I fell silent during a meeting he assumed I was dead and wanted to check on me.) I took to breathing into his fur whenever he did that and he came to really enjoy it. About three months ago he started to follow that by curling up on the left side of my chest, over my heart, and falling asleep there for an hour or more.

Spooky also inherited the lickable treats, which he was always happy to share with fellow black cat Bojangles, as well as the exclusive Fancy Feast feedings, which he shared with everyone after he had eaten his fill.

Bojangles, Mama Cat, and Spumoni always had exclusive feeding of their own: a "midnight feast" (usually served between 1:30 AM and 3:00 AM) of a can of Friskies split three ways. Spumoni is very food aggressive, and would always push her mother and brother aside to get to the first bowl - and then the second, and then the third, abandoning each to the other cats in turn. Spooky never had any interest in the midnight feast until recently. Some nights he would show up as I set out the three bowls. Some nights he would show up in time for me to split the can four ways. Sometimes he would be fed last, but in his last few days he was fed first. Spumoni respected his seniority and would not try to steal his bowl, and neither would the other cats. Sometimes he left some food in his bowl for the others, other days he would eat everything in his bowl and nibble at anything left over by the others. 

Joining the midnight feast wasn't the only change in Spooky's behavior lately. Several times in the days before he died, he would jump in the empty bathtub in the morning while I was in the bathroom. Now that I think of it, Spooky might have done it a few times when I wasn't in the bathroom. I don't know what this meant. Peaches spent the last few weeks of her life living in the bathtub, to the point that I was feeding her there. After she died, Amber kept checking the bathtub to see if she might be hiding there. 

We had a schedule of sorts. I would wake up between 9:00 and 10:00 AM and have breakfast. Around 11:00 AM I would move into another room and get a tube of treat and a can of Fancy Feast. Spooky would jump up and sit at my right side waiting for his treat, and Bojangles would sometimes jump up on my left. Spooky always got first crack at the treat, but then would share with Bojangles. Afterwards I would cut wedges of the Fancy Feast pate, half the can, and put them in a bowl where Spooky would eat his fill and leave the rest for everyone else.  We would repeat the ritual a few hours later just before I left for work, or when I got home from work.

The last week of January I was home every day. Monday and Tuesday we were working from home because of heavy snow. Wednesday I called off because I hadn't finished digging my car out, wasn't feeling that great, and didn't feel like making the effort to go into work. Thursday and Friday I had scheduled off, two of the only selected days I was able to get. So I got to spend lots of time with Spooky those days.

Wednesday, February 4 was a good day. Spooky enjoyed his treat and his food and spent time sitting with me. The sun came out and he jumped into the front bow window to bask in the sunshine for a few hours. While I was taking my shower I heard him crying, and then came out to find him sitting outside the bathroom waiting for me. He ran out to his spot and positioned himself for extra treats, which I gave him gladly.

All this week I had dreaded coming home. Despite my best efforts, Spooky was getting older. His spine was becoming more prominent. I could tell his time was drawing near. I worried that I would come home to find him dead. I thought about where to look for him: in the chair where he liked to sleep, in the bathtub, in one or two other spots. 

I came through the door and found him waiting for me to serve the midnight feast.

I put out his food first. Spumoni made no efforts to steal it. 

I got ready for bed. I lounged in the chair where I would feed him treats, where he would sit by my side, where he would sleep on my heart. He came up and sat by me for a bit. We dozed there for an hour or so. Then he got up, scrambled over me, and went off to do cat stuff. 

About 4:15 AM I got up to go to the bathroom one last time. I found Spooky sleeping in an unusual spot on the floor and had a bad feeling. The night he died years ago, Thor had curled up in front of the back door, something he had never done before. I had picked Thor up, said "No, not here," and took him to sleep with my mom. He died in her arms shortly after. 

On my way back from the bathroom I stooped down and picked Spooky up. If this was the time, I wanted him to be in the chair where he liked to sleep, not some dark corner of the floor.

He struggled against me. He dug his claws into the carpet, into the curtain. He looked at me with a shocked, surprised expression. I held him against my chest and laid him down on the chair cushion.

He landed stiff and still, his forelegs pointed in one direction, his legs in another, his head in another.

I might have killed him picking him up. His heart might have given out struggling against me.

I picked him up again. He was dead weight. I sat in the chair and held him against my chest. I could feel his breath, faint, and his heartbeat, fading. I made my goodbyes. Told him soon he would be with his mommy and Amber and Peaches and everyone else. Told him I loved him, that he would always be my little tiny buddy. That I loved all the time we had spent together, all the times he had slept curled up on my heart. After a while his breathing stopped, his heart stopped. It was around 4:30.

I pulled a blanket over us and slept there for the next four hours, holding him.

When I woke he was still dead. 

I laid Spooky out on a soft towel. Spumoni spent a lot of time staring at him. I don't know what she was thinking.

With much difficulty I removed his collar, the collar with a bell. He was the only cat in the house who wore a collar. When I heard the bell at night I knew he was around, coming to steal my pillow from me in bed, so I would wake up with him on my pillow and my head flat on the bed - to the point that I bought two identical pillows, one for each of us, though he would often stretch out across both of them. I put the collar in a baggie, along with some plucked hairs. 

I took him to our vet to be cremated on the way in to work Thursday. I will pick up his ashes in a few days.

Spooky's Kubrick Stare, October 3, 2023