I frequently see complaints online from friends who mentioned something online, or said something about something offline, or merely thought about thinking about something, and within a day or two were getting targeted with ads for this very thing. What witchery is this? Is their iPhone or Alexa or microwave oven spying on them, monitoring their conversations or maybe reading their thoughts?
I don't know. I've never had it happen - and I'm someone who swims through a sea of synchronicity too blatant to be coincidence. The only times I've had anything like this happen at all are after I've actually searched for a product outside of Safe Search mode, and even that is spotty at best. I think my chaotic online behavior defeats most marketing algorithms.*
Today, having recently searched for Consumer Reports-recommended carpet shampooers, I received this targeted ad from Walmart:
So, what brought this on? It's not like a walking stick is something I've looked at online, at least not in over nine years, when I briefly flirted with the idea of getting a walking stick / monopod just in case I might ever get together with a local blogger who was also an avid hiker, but that never happened and she got married and had kids and I finally met her for the first time in person about two years ago and...but I digress. Prior to that, my only other walking stick incident involved a handsome silver-and-black number back in 2002 that...well, that's another story involving someone who's since gotten married and had kids, and I'm not going to tell it.
The thing is, there was no reason for Walmart to target me with this item, even though it is pretty cool.
To a point.
That point being where the "About this item" says:
Warning - Choking Hazard - Children Under 3
This toy is not suitable for ages under 3 years. It contains one or more of the following items marbles; small ball; or small parts.
Wait, what? And then:
This decorative walking stick is not weight bearing and is not intended for orthopedic use.
Sorry, dude. If I'm going to invest money in a walking stick, I at the very least expect it to serve as a walking stick. And also be rugged enough to be used as a melee weapon, for which I require a weighted knob capable of breaking bones and knocking out teeth. And it should have an attachment for my camera, and a spike for walking on ice, and a compass in the top, and a built-in flashlight, laser, magnifying glass, mirror, flint and striker, bottle opener, cell phone charger, waterproof matches, and a concealed sword.
Decorative? Decorative? Walmart, you failed. You don't know me at all.
*I feel sorry for the FBI agent who monitors my online activity. "What the hell - WHY is he going THERE now? And - wait, this makes no sense, and - OH MY GOD, I did NOT need to see that! I gotta find another job, something less - wait, what the hell is THIS now..?"
Title reference: The subtitle to "Meeting people is easy.", Radiohead's 1998 DVD release ("A film by grant gee about radiohead.")
Fun side note: Today on The TED Radio Hour, I heard Dan Airley describe a simple experiment. A group of people were given an option regarding a subscription to a magazine relevant to their interests. They could get an online-only subscription for $59, a print-only subscription for $125, or a combination print and online subscription for $125 - the print subscription with free online access! In this experiment (which was based on an actual magazine offer), the majority chose the combination offer, fewer chose the online offer, and nobody chose the print-only option. So then the experiment was re-run with another group - only this time, the print-only option, which no one wanted in the first experiment, was eliminated. And overwhelmingly, the subjects chose the less expensive online-only option. The combination offer, which had been so very popular before, was now far less attractive, simply because a similar option that no one wanted had been eliminated.
...this isn't actually relevant to anything above. I just thought it was pretty cool.
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