Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Betting odds for Thursday's Vice Presidential Debate

  • Palin cancels at last minute due to an unforeseen government emergency in Alaska, where she's still technically the Governor: 20:1
  • Palin cancels at last minute due to unforeseen family emergency; Republican pundits declare that it is un-American to demand that anyone place mere politics ahead of family: 37:1
  • Palin cancels at last minute due to acute laryngitis: 12:1
  • Palin cancels at last minute due to rushing back to Alaska to lead troops in mobilization against unforeseen invading Russian force coming across Bering Strait (later found to be a stray weather balloon and a severely confused flock of Canada Geese): 7:1
  • Palin shows up, kicks Biden's ass: 4,725,322:1
  • Biden scoffs at Palin: 2:1
  • Biden sneers at Palin: 2:1
  • Biden acts condescending towards Palin: 1:1
  • Biden displays easygoing charm and aura of honesty of a used-car salesman: 1:1
  • Palin has no idea what a question is getting at: 2:1
  • Biden randomly makes up chronologically impossible historical references: 2:1
  • Palin delivers "Blizzard of Words" and sounds like blithering idiot: 2:1
  • Biden kicks Palin's ass, but is then roundly condemned by pundits for being such a meanie: 1.0000001:1
  • Economy collapses, country thrown into chaos, martial law declared, elections cancelled: 3:1 (and falling)

6 comments:

  1. I think Biden is in a tough spot, here. As someone somewhere pointed out, the debate could turn out to be a no-win situation. As you pointed out, he's likely to look mean and condescending if he out-debates her on the issues. Or, if Palin somehow manages to "win," then Biden looks like a goof. I can't wait for the sketch on SNL.

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  2. There's not as much at stake tonight for the Democrats -- they're well up at the polls, the fix is in in Ohio, and there's pretty much no way the Donks can lose.

    All Biden has to do is be nice-but-strong and answer questions correctly. What he shouldn't say: "Hey, bitch, go make me a sammich." Otherwise, this isn't a difficult thing. One or good-natured laughs is enough for a knockout.

    BTW, if I hear Palin or McCain refer to themselves as mavericks one more time, I'm gonna throw up. Maverick is a term others give you -- you don't get to use the term on yourself. It's weird. They should know that.

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  3. Oops, that was me ... bill

    as far as canceling the election, that's up to the hypnotoad.

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  4. What are the odds on Biden showing up drunk?

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  5. I'm leaning towards the chaos and cancelled elections scenario.

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  6. Even if Biden shows up drunk, he'll still make more sense than Palin.

    Drunk, holding a highball glass, smoking a cigarette, talking on a phone, and reading the latest MAD Super Special, he would still make more sense than Palin.

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