Memento mori

As you take West Main Street out of Nanticoke, PA into Newport Township, it becomes Old Newport Street. On the right, just past Turkey Hill and across from Barbara's Custom Floral, right before the road transforms again into River Road, there's an old cemetery built on some hills. As you approach the gate along the stretch of yellow brick road and past the memorial to coal miners, you're greeted by signs in Polish and English letting you know that this is Holy Trinity Cemetery. The tombstones there are old, many dating from the early years of the twentieth century, the most recent from the mid-1970s. (It's possible there are a few more recent graves there.) Most of the graves are untended, surrounded only by grass. Here and there some plastic flowers or an American flag - some new, some in tatters - indicate that some visitor has been by recently. But for the most part, the cemetery gives the feeling of only having been visited by those who keep the grass cut and trees trimmed.

When I was a kid my family had a weekly ritual. Every Sunday morning, we would head out to 9:00 mass. Afterwards, we would head down a few blocks to my grandmother's house to join the rest of the extended family for a breakfast of Polish sausage and bread washed down with coffee. We would pass around the Wilkes-Barre Sunday Independent and the Sunday edition of the New York Daily News, pulling out the funnies and the ads and Parade magazine. Afterwards the kids would gather in the living room to watch cartoons while the grown-ups sat and talked about the news of the week and the latest goings-on in town. Gradually the dishes would be cleared, and then my cousins' families would drift off home. After everyone else had gone, my grandmother would join my family in the car for a tour of the cemeteries where our family members were buried. Three different ones: Saint Mary's on Middle Road, where my grandfather is buried, along with my grandmother's brother and sister and my stillborn brother and, much later, my father and my uncle; Saint Mary's in Nanticoke, where my grandfather's relatives are buried; and Holy Trinity, where my grandmother's parents are.

Somewhere along the way these traditions ended. The Sunday sausage breakfasts dwindled. Cemetery visits were reduced to a single cemetery, and then none at all, at least on a weekly basis. I still visit the cemetery on Middle Road once in a while, and I can find the family plot in the cemetery in town with some effort. But recently I realized I had no idea where the grave in Holy Trinity is located.

I took today off to take my mom to some appointments. After they were done we went to Cracker Barrel for a late lunch or early dinner, and then went to Wal-Mart on a largely fruitless and frustrating shopping trip. On the way home we decided to take a drive through the cemetery on Middle Road. We drove past my mother's friend's family's grave; my mom used to put flowers on it on behalf of her friend, who lived out of state, and would call her to give her updates on how the grave looked. Since the friend died a few years ago, my mom has carried on in her memory. We also drove past my aunt's grave, the grave of my mother's sister. We then stopped at our family plot, very close to the entrance to the cemetery. When we were there I told my mom that I wanted to visit the grave at Holy Trinity sometime, just so I could remember how to find it. I think my mom understood my concern that when she is gone, there might not be anyone who remembers how to find the grave. We decided to make that our next stop.

It took some doing - I overshot the first time, and had to loop around - but we found it. For future reference, its approximate coordinates in latitude and longitude are 41.196485, -76.014432.

It can be seen from the road, barely, just after the curve straightens out. It's on a steep downhill slope, a few rows behind the double marker with the vase, a few rows over from the grave that looks like an above-ground crypt, near some red stones and a pair of cross-shaped markers.

It can be located by using the trees on the perimeter of the cemetery. Line up the two trees near the Main Street entrance with the space between the fourth and fifth trees from the right along the east side, near the Turkey Hill, and you'll be in the right general area.

Facing toward Main Street

So now I know how to locate my grandmother's parents' grave. And I've put that information somewhere I'll be able to find it.