For ME? How exciting!

Just got this from "U.S. Customs and Border Protection" (infocbp [at] customs.com). Just another example of how far this country fell during the Bush years: high-ranking federal officials writing like they're, I don't know, Nigerian scam artists or something:

We hereby bring to your notice that a consignment been delivered at your residence by a diplomat had been stopped by us. This is a security measure put in place by United States of America check terrorism and money laundry through the sale of illegal drugs locally and internationally.

After examination, we found out that the consignment contained the sum of US$3.7 Million, which upon further investigation revealed that the fund was your inheritance.

Consequently, the diplomat will deliver your consignment at your residence after all protocols have been observed.

However, in order to procced we need you to reconfirm the following information,

Full Name:

Residential Address:

Date of Birth:

Occupation:

Telephone/Mobile Numbers:

We await your response.

Regards,
W. Ralph Basham
Commissioner, U.S. Customs and Border Protection.

(Yes, that period at the end is in the original. A nice touch.)

Oh boy! I inherited the sum of US$3.7 Million! I can't wait to go out and spend all those U.S. dollars!

But wouldn't it be more efficient for me to just send this guy my bank account numbers, so they could deposit the money directly?