Jobs, jobs, and more jobs

In case you're wondering what's new on the job front, here are the latest possibilities from this weekend's classifieds, in order of seriousness of consideration:

Physics / Mathematics Teacher
OK, this is exactly the sort of thing I'm looking for. But, as with all teaching jobs, it requires a stack of things I don't have: official Teaching Certification, PA Standard Teaching Application, Act 34, 151, and 114 Clearances, Official Transcripts, Praxis Scores, 3 Reference Letters. (Well, the Reference Letters are easy enough.) I can start the process of getting a Teaching Certificate, but that will require two years of courses and training - an expense I'm not sure I want to undertake right now, and an investment of time that I would rather spend earning an income. My one hope is for "emergency certification", which is possible when a need exists for a particular specialization in a school district, there are no qualified Certified candidates available, and a qualified but un-Certified candidate exists. Which would be me. I'll send them a letter and a résumé.

Chemistry & Physics Lab Manager/Director, King's College
Anyone who's read the Harry Potter books is familiar with Mr. Filch, the Squib, a child of Wizard parents who never manifested any magical abilities himself who works as the caretaker at Hogwarts. He's miserable all the time, and is surrounded by both teachers and students whose very presence reminds him of his failure. That's what I'm thinking this position might feel like. All of the Lab Managers I've known have also been responsible for maintaining and repairing the equipment - that's not something I'm very good at, at all. On the plus side, I know the head of the Physics department at King's College - he was the drummer for 3 Brix Shy and Blue Sundaze. I'll think about this one.

General Mills Team Leader
This sounds pretty generic, though one of the requirements is a BS/BA in Engineering, Science, or a related field. I'll take a look at it on their website.

Customer Service Representative
Not really a serious consideration, but something to think about. My last job entailed plenty of Customer Service Representative-style interaction, even though we were never officially considered CSR's. I sense that the pay for this job is next to nothing.

Coordinator / Clerical Receptionist / Traffic Assistant
Again, not really a serious consideration, but, dammit, I could do this. The job is at a radio station, so I expect that the pay would consist of promotional black T-shirts and all the office supplies you could stuff in your pockets.

And the rest are worse.

The latest check of my résumé status at Pennsylvania Career Link shows that it has been viewed 0 times. This is a little discouraging. Any job searches on their website using search terms for jobs that interest me also come up with 0 results. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. Or maybe the whole thing is just some sort of front.

A side note: a friend is building a new computer for me, and tonight I'm taking this beast down to his place to either clone or move the hard drive. So I may be offline for a while. I'll let you know if I can.